Congratulations,

We are pleased to announce that you have already beat the odds. You, yes you, have already won. We are now pleased to present what you have already won. Only one in eleven people currently alive have been on the internet. Congratulations! You are not poor! You are literate, which also qualifies you to read any one of the millions of books which have been written. To elaborate on your current gift, you do not have to endure subsistence living! You are sentient, and can grasp abstract ideas, and have control over at least one of your senses. Please realize the number of senses you currently possess. The first, as well as each additional sense allows for greater and greater prizes in the future! The possibilities are innumerable. We will be contacting you soon with specifics.

-Jonas